The Mother of the Bride Duties

One of the first things that you as the mother of the bride should do is to talk frankly with your daughter about a budget. Whether the parents of the bride are paying for everything or whether you will be sharing expenses with the bride and groom or with his parents, getting the money details worked out in the beginning will help avoid misunderstandings and problems later.

An important role for the mother of the bride is to help your daughter with the guest list. After deciding on an approximate number of guests for each family, you can be an invaluable help to your daughter by helping her to choose the relatives that absolutely should receive an invitation. Depending on the size of the guest list and your daughter's wishes, you may be entitled to invite guests who are friends and close co-workers even if your daughter doesn't know them well. All parties should be prepared to make compromises on the guest list depending on the budget and the seating capacity of the wedding or reception venue.

Maintain contact with the parents of the groom. Coordinate with the groom's mother to make sure that their guests receive an invitation. You can also work out arrangements for any out-of-town relatives and friends. You might also work out a time to have dinner or some type of outing with the parents of the groom so that both sets of parents can get better acquainted.

Choosing your dress, shoes, hairstyle, and accessories is an important duty of the bride's mother. Traditionally you will choose your dress and then let the groom's mother know the color and style. But the two of you might discuss preferences before you choose your dress. Begin your search for the dress and accessories early. It might be harder than you think to find the perfect ensemble.

Another important and sentimental duty will be to accompany your daughter in her search for the perfect wedding gown and veil. You may also be asked for your input on many subjects such as flowers, favors, food, etc. Be helpful and honest, but remember--its "her" day.

You may also help the maid of honor give a wedding shower. While it is considered a breach of etiquette for the mother of the bride to actually hostess the shower, you might volunteer your home as the location for the shower and help the maid of honor in any way she wishes.

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